Page 2 GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE March, 1989

EDITORIAL

Our most precious resource

It is not possible for civilization to flow backwards while there is youth in the world.

-Helen Keller

It is Friday night at a popular gay restaurant. The place is packed; not one more body can fit through the doors. At the corner table one man is begging another to please find out if a third likes him, or if he was even noticed. Across the room another table of men get up to leave, and as they reach the door one of them jokingly shouts across the room to the corner table, “Did he tell you who he's in love with yet?"

A typical night in a gay restaurant? Hardly. If it were a typically gay experience you would expect this to be a group of gay men in their 20s or 30s who have just come out, and are going through the boy crazy' period many teenagers go through. What made this particular experience unique and special is that these were teenagers.

Lesbian and gay youth have appeared in Cleveland. They are "out". there in

large numbers waiting to take their place in our community. The new generation. These kids get to come out when they are 16, not 36. They get to experience adolescent feelings about other human beings as adolescents, not as grown adults.

Why as a community are we so blessed now? It looks as though years and years of hard work and sacrifice by those who have taken risks to come out of the closet have paid off. The reward is a new generation of lesbians and gaymen who get to be themselves earlier than many of us did.

We need these young people. We need them to attend the functions we put on. We need them to develop into tomorrow's leaders. We need them to be just a bit more healthy then we are, a bit more “okay” about their sexuality, a bit live lier, and a whole lot less cynical about the world around them.

Our community can only benefit from this influx of new talent. Just think of all the benefits having young ideas could bring. Maybe the women's community would play some new music at their dances. Maybe old ideas about the "need" to

GUEST EDITORIAL

AIDS, Straight On

Things were going very well for T. and me. I had just taken a new job in my chosen field of architecture. T. was writing articles for computer magazines and cruising through his master's program. The sky fell down the day after Thanksgiving, the day after giving thanks for all the good things.

T. had to be rushed to the hospital because he couldn't catch his breath. I had just awakened from a dream where I attended his funeral. The doctors thought maybe he had the flu, a real bad case of it. We knew better, but we were pretending that "Yeah, it could be the flu." It wasn't the flu. It was the pneumonia--PCP--associated with

AIDS.

You see, T. is a hemophiliac, cursed at birth with an incurable blood disease that can be controlled with human blood derivatives. Luckily T. (I figured I'd keep this on a Kafka-esque level with initials for names as the whole thing is so horribly unreal that it can't be fake.) has managed, through regular medical treatment, to have a pretty normal life. Sure there were the bad days when an internal ankle bleed meant struggling on crutches across campus to class. There were the weekly intravenous injections, given at home, to deal with. There also were the limitations like no sports, no motorcycles, nothing too physically demanding. But he kept his chin up and looked around for things he could do. T. doesn't dwell on the can'ts, just the cans.

I am not so blessed. I am a satirist. I see the harsh realities of any situation --even T's. I keep having dreams about his funeral and his grave. Where will it be, I ask myself? Every little complaint of his is cause for alarm. “Oh no," I think, what if this is the next stage? What bizarre disease is running rampant through his precious body now?

T. struggles around my psychic roadblocks and tells me he's going to be a long-term survivor. He shows me articles about people who have lived for as long as six years with AIDS, people who don't take AZT, people who test negative after having ARC. I read these testaments and try hard to hope. It works for

a while, but the despair always returns stronger than the last time. But the alternative to this cycle of hope and despair--nonexistence--isn't a satisfactory solution, so on I go.

We've been dating for three years and have been living together for about a year. Until Nov. 25, we had a typical heterosexual relationship. We argued, we had fun, we explored new things, we thought about the future. Our parents held their communal breath waiting for the wedding day.

Things are vastly different now. Marriage is out of the question, children are out of the question, maybe even life is out of the question. Now we argue about health insurance and medications. We are angry at larger things like the government, the medical profession, God. We explore visualization therapy and meditation, but we don't plan for a future any more.

Our friends have been amazingly helpful and understanding, considering that our group's average age is 23 and almost no one has experienced a life trauma. I have almost destroyed two friendships through my fears of abandonment and persecution. Fortunately, they both saw through my erratic behavior. There are a few people who will drift away because they can't deal with AIDS. They will be replaced in time. T. and I already have met a few special people. There are the social workers, the doctors, the nurses and those friends I forgot we had.

Then there are the local support group members. T. and I went to one a few weeks ago. There we were, in a room full of people with AIDS, looking nervous, not knowing what to do or what to say. It was obvious that T. and I were different. I was the only woman there besides the assistant social worker and T. and I were the only heterosexuals in the room. Talk about tension. I wondered if the men were disgusted that I had invaded their meeting, or if they felt they couldn't talk freely for fear of us judging them. We were both happy just to sit in a room of people with the same problems.

stay closeted would disappear. Maybe old personal feuds and infighting would stop because no one would care any more. Maybe Cleveland would move into the 90's as a community to move to, not away from.

This is a big responsibility for such young minds. These kids probably don't dwell on this, but all the freedom they are enjoying right now was bought with the blood of thousands of lesbians and gay men who were victims of beatings and witch-hunts, who lost their jobs and their children for daring to mention they were

homosexual.

All is not yet roses for this generation, though. They still stand to lose jobs, apartments, and even their lives to homophobia. But now it is the job of the young to enjoy the gains that have been made, to cherish them, to build on them, and make our community just a bit better for the next generation.

Good luck, and thank you.

AIDS media and medical support is geared primarily to the homosexual population. The majority of books are written from a gay perspective, the support groups are there for gay men. Where is the information about heterosexuals, about women, about hemophiliacs, about Africans for that matter?

And where does it go from here? I have no answers for that question even though it eats at my brain. My life is on hold for the moment. My aspirations are still there, but more out of reach than ever. I go to my job, I come home, I hold my breath hoping nothing has happened to T. since I've been gone. I wake up each morning and stare at the damn bottle of AZT, struggling to keep myself under control.

And every single day I ask "WHY?"

LETTERS

The Chronicle encourages everyone to write and express their opinion about the paper or life in general. We reserve the right Sisters can't play

To the editor:

This message is intended for those male homosexuals and bar owners that have taken every opportunity to exclude their lesbian sisters from their establishments. This is not directed to those men and bar owners that have invited us to join them and treated us with kindness and respect.

In this family, why can't all the kids play together? I have never experienced this phenomenon in any other city. In all gay communities one may find a few segregated bars, but the majority of the population is being served in mixed dance clubs. It appears to me that the only time you welcome us is when you are having an AIDS benefit of some sort of grand opening. I personally am tired of being the kind of family member that is only invited to funerals and weddings.

I have heard the arguments that the women don't spend money and that women start fights etc, etc ... I find it ridiculous that all of us are judged on the behavior of a small minority. In our

gay people's

HRONIC I

Vol. 4, Issue 9.

Published by KWIR Publications Co-Owners:

Robert Downing Martha J. Pontoni

Editor-in-Chief:

Martha J. Pontoni

Copy Editor:

Carlie Steen

Reporters & Writers:

Martha J. Pontoni, K.D. Mahnal, Dora Forbes, Robert Downing, John Robinson, L. Kolke, Don S., Tracy Miller, Michele Smeller, Jesse Dallas. Columnists:

John Robinson, Auntie Ray, Doug Moore, Ed Santa Vicca, Patty M., Fern R. Levy, Joe Interrante. Production Staff:

Janice T., Tom P., Ray Kempski, Brian DeWitt, Michele Somerson, Denise King, Deb L.

Art Director:

Christine Hahn

Artists:

Pat Hughes, Tom Z.

Assistants to the Editor:

Dan Postotnik, Dave Volk. Distribution Chief:

Robert Downing.

The Gay Peoples Chronicle is dedicated to providing a space in Cleveland's lesbian-gay community for all women and men to communicate and be involved with each other. This means that every Chronicle, to the best of our ability, will be equally dedicated to both men's and women's issues, as well as issues that affect all of us. Striving for this balance will not only provide the community with a forum to air grievances and express joys, but will also help all of us achieve this balance in our lives.

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biological families we all have the Aunt So and So that comes to every potluck empty handed--or Uncle What's His Name that gets drunk and causes a brawl at every reunion. But they are always invited back and treated with respect because—well, it just takes all kinds to make up a colorful family (even some you don't like.)

An establishment invites its own clientele by the way it represents itself. If a club has a flashy/fashionable decor and a friendly staff, it will attract the type of clientele that appreciates and pays for that atmosphere. If a club looks like a gutter, it will attract gutter rats.

In the summer we dance in the streets together and in the fall we picnic together all under the banner of We Are Family. Throughout the year we use words like pride and dignity to fight against the prejudices that are cast upon us. We march together and push petitions for legislative change. We have united together in numbers larger than ever for the strength needed to fight the virus that Continued on Page 5